How to Advocate for Your Child with ADHD at School

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Mar 25

Written By Jennifer Lysay for Counselling & Co.

Parent holding their child's hand on the way to school

As a parent, you want the best for your child’s education and want to support them to reach their full potential. It can be frustrating to watch them struggle in school and not know how to support them, especially when ADHD is in the mix. Having good communication with the teacher and the school and using the support available can alleviate a lot of the stress, especially with early intervention. Since the needs for ADHD are specific to each child, here are some of the challenges children can face when dealing with ADHD:

Some challenges for children with ADHD in school are:

Sensory issues (i.e., noises, lights, images)
Emotion regulation (i.e., rejection, frustration, mistrust, ability to identify emotions)
Sensory processing disorders (i.e., tactile, auditory, or motor output (writing) with cognitive processing (thinking))
Time blindness — or daydreaming and an inability to be aware of timelines, often in a world of their own
Masking — hiding their exceptionalities throughout the day because they are self-conscious, and when they get home, release their tension through isolation or anger
Rejection sensitive dysphoria: An intense fear or anxiety of being left out by their peers

Often, these can be mislabeled as behavioral traits, and children are disciplined for a biological issue, something outside of their control, and don’t have the language skills to communicate the issue and what they are experiencing, adding to their distress and barriers in their learning.

One key tool that can assist in navigating these complexities is teaching a child how to feel and notice their emotional experiences, creating an empowering sense of self-advocacy. Our relational experiences shape how and if we navigate our emotional experiences and well-being. If a child experiences a lot of negative feedback, it can cause them to avoid those emotions. Involvement in your child’s educational experience is important if they have been or are showing signs of ADHD.

This guide will show you practical steps to advocate for your child so your child with ADHD gets their needs met at school.

The Three Types of ADHD

Hyperactive and Impulsive ADHD

“Driven by a motor,” children with this type appear hyper through talking, interrupting, movement, and fidgeting, and have difficulty regulating their emotions. This is the most diagnosed type due to being the most visible of ADHD in schools.

In school, children with Hyperactive ADHD have difficulty sitting still, standing in line, being quiet (talking, humming, singing to self-regulate), or following directions. They blurt out answers, get frustrated easily, have difficulty listening, struggle with emotion regulation, and sometimes have physical or verbal outbursts. They can be labeled as being disruptive or having “behavioral” issues rather than recognizing the potential of underlying mental health concerns.

A major obstacle to their academic success is their inability to sustain attention and sit for long periods, making it hard to do schoolwork. Without accommodations and support, they fall behind and get more frustrated. Looking at these behaviors through a neurodiversity lens, rather than as defiance, can help educators and parents develop strategies to support their learning, emotional regulation, and overall well-being.

Primarily Inattentive ADHD (formerly called ADD)

Thoughts driven by a motor; difficulty focusing for sustained periods, racing negative thoughts, self-deprecating, challenges with organization, following instructions with many steps, weak working memory, and easily distracted, challenges in socialization, typically diagnosed in adults and girls (ADDITUDE - Williams: "What are the types of ADHD?").

In school, some kids with ADHD present very differently from the more common hyperactive and impulsive type. These kids are quiet, lost in thought, and daydreaming. Internally, they are often super critical of themselves, comparing themselves to their peers. They often mask their behaviors and are prone to daydreaming and losing track of time.

Despite being inattentive, they may hyper-focus on certain academic tasks and get good grades but make small, careless mistakes. These children tend to not be disruptive in the classroom and have the appearance of doing well. Their challenges often go unnoticed by teachers. One of the best indicators of their struggles is the state of their organization – ask the teacher about the state of their desk, binders, or backpack, and you’ll get a good sense.

These children thrive with clear teacher direction, but their struggles become more apparent in later grades when they’re expected to work more independently. As organizational demands increase and external support decreases, their grades start to decline if early intervention is not initiated. Add to those challenges of social connection issues, low self-confidence, and self-esteem, and self-deprecating thoughts. They will often disengage from school, reinforcing their already fragile self-esteem. These children are often super sensitive and are prone to rejection-sensitive dysphoria, which has a significant impact on their learning but goes unnoticed.

Combined Type ADHD

Children with combined-type ADHD have six or more symptoms of inattention and six or more symptoms of hyperactivity and impulsivity (ADDITUDE - Williams: "What are the types of ADHD?").

The problem with ADHD is that the symptoms can overlap with other mental health conditions, so diagnosis is tricky. For example, attention, hyperactivity, impulsivity, and emotional regulation difficulties can also be seen in children with anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), autism, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). These overlapping symptoms can lead to confusion, as they can be misattributed to another condition.

ADHD can co-occur with these mental health issues, which makes diagnosis even more complicated. When multiple conditions are present, it can take longer to figure out the presence of ADHD, as each condition can mask or mimic symptoms of the others. So, it’s important to approach diagnosis and treatment with all factors in mind to ensure kids get the right support for their individual needs.

Special Education Programs

According to the Ministry of Education of Ontario, school boards must provide special education programs and services to students who are officially designated as “exceptional students.” This is outlined in the Education Act. An exceptional student is a student who has behavioural, communicational, intellectual, physical, or multiple exceptionalities that require them to have a special education program or service. It does not have to be severe, just disabling for the child to require school accommodations.

Exceptional students are identified and placed in special education programs, or accommodations are made for the child by school board committees called Identification, Placement, and Review Committees (IPRCs).

A special education program is a program of education that:

Is based on and modified by the results of ongoing assessment and evaluation
Includes an Individual Education Plan (IEP) that has specific goals (except when the IEP has accommodations only) and an outline of special education services that meet a student’s needs.

How To Collaborate with Teachers to Support Your Child with ADHD

Communication with the school and your child is key to getting the right support for their exceptions. If you’re still in the discovery phase of understanding your child’s learning strengths and weaknesses, check in with the teacher early in the school year. Home and school observations can provide great insight into potential struggles. Statements from your child such as “I always get in trouble for standing up or moving,” or “The teacher calls on me because I’m not paying attention,” may indicate focus or self-regulation struggles. Ask the teacher about your child’s organizational skills or the state of their desk to get clues about executive functioning challenges.

Set up a homework or communication book with the teacher to discuss concerns from the day and most importantly positive behaviours from your child. An ADHD child receives a lot of negative feedback because of their exceptionalities compared to a neurotypical child and it can impact their self-esteem and emotional regulation.

Hearing about their challenges all the time can lead to frustration, self-doubt, and feelings of inadequacy. So positive feedback from teachers is even more important in shaping their self-perception and motivation. Talking about positive feedback with your child is an opportunity to connect and build emotional awareness. Ask them questions like “How do you feel when your teacher says something positive about you?” or “What do you feel when they express concern?” and your child will start to recognize, verbalize, and physically feel their emotions. This reflective process will help them develop self-awareness, emotional regulation, and resilience so they can navigate the classroom – both the successes and the challenges.

If your child is on medication, tell the teacher, especially if they have missed a dose so they can understand the fluctuations in attention and behavior. A collaborative approach between parents and teachers means the right strategies and accommodations are in place to support the child’s learning and overall happiness.

Classroom Strategies and Accommodations

State expectations clearly—both verbally and in writing (e.g., on the board).
Break down instructions into smaller steps, especially for students with inattentive ADHD.
Post a daily routine in a visible area to reduce anxiety and provide structure.
Maintain consistency in routines, positive reinforcement, and discipline strategies.
Use graduated discipline responses with immediate and proportional interventions.
Focus on rewards rather than consequences to encourage positive behavior.
Use positive reinforcement (e.g., stickers, treats, special privileges). For students struggling with focus, consider subtle redirection (e.g., standing beside them rather than calling their name).
Offer choices to promote autonomy (e.g., “Would you prefer to take your test in a quiet room or in the classroom?”).
Incorporate movement breaks throughout the day to reduce anxiety and enhance focus through physical activity.

The Ministry of Education has established a process for assisting children with exceptionalities in the classroom.

An Identification, Placement, and Review Committee (IPRC) is made up of at least three people: a principal, social worker, and teacher, who evaluate a child’s educational and psychological assessments, parent and student input, and other relevant information to determine if an IEP with accommodations is required. Parents can request an IPRC meeting. If a student is found to be exceptional, the team will decide on the best placement for the student.

An Individual Education Plan (IEP) will be developed outlining the accommodations, modifications, and support services. The categories of exceptionality are behavioral, intellectual, communication, and physical, ensuring that all learning needs are met.

In Ontario, a psychoeducational assessment is an evaluation done by a psychologist or psychometrist to examine a student’s cognitive, academic, and socio-emotional functioning. The main goal is to identify learning disabilities, developmental delays, or attention issues that may impact a student’s educational progress. The assessment will provide valuable information about a student’s strengths and areas of support, which will guide strategies and accommodations.

The results of a psychoeducational assessment are used to help develop Individual Education Plans (IEPs) and other support strategies so that students receive the resources they need to succeed.

A full psychoeducational assessment provides the most complete picture of a student’s cognitive, academic, and social-emotional needs. However, this is usually only available through private services at a cost, although it is covered by some insurance plans.

Alternatively, schools may offer partial assessments, but access is case-by-case, and approval is required. A full assessment gives deeper insights and specific recommendations, but even a partial assessment can provide helpful information to guide accommodations and interventions. Open communication with educators and advocating for your child’s needs will help ensure they get the support they need within the school system.

Placements can range from regular classrooms with support to full-time special education classes, depending on the student’s needs. If placed in a classroom setting, strategies can include leaving the classroom for a walk, devices placed on chairs that allow the child to move and fidget without disruption, access to a computer, a quiet area to write tests, extra time, and fidgets, to name a few.

Educational assistants, psychologists, and speech therapists work together to support students if required. Transition planning is also an important part of the process to ensure a smooth transition through the different stages of the child's educational journey, especially for students with IEPs, as this will transition with the child from elementary to high school. Parents are part of the decision-making process and should stay in contact with the school to support their child’s development and educational journey.

If you have concerns about your child’s learning or development, talk to their teacher or principal to see if an assessment is needed. Understanding the Identification, Placement, and Review Committee (IPRC) process and the special education programs and services available will help you navigate the next steps.

Develop an Effective Individualized Education Program (IEP) for Your Child

The Ministry of Education has established a process for assisting children with exceptionalities in the classroom.

The results of a psychoeducational assessment are used to help develop Individual Education Plans (IEPs) and other support strategies so that students receive the resources they need to succeed.

Support Your Child’s Emotional Well-Being

Parents are the models for their children, and advocating for a child in school sets the stage for a child to advocate for themselves.

Teaching a child to acknowledge and understand their emotional experiences is a powerful way to learn how to self-advocate. When children can identify their emotions, know their triggers, and tell you how they feel, they have more control over their responses and reactions. This emotional awareness helps them communicate their needs more effectively, whether at school or at home.

By giving children, the tools to navigate their emotions, they can self-advocate in tricky situations, like asking for a break when they feel overwhelmed or support when they are struggling with a task. This skill not only boosts their emotional intelligence but also their confidence, so they can navigate life with a better understanding of their needs and how to meet them.

The tool of communicating what they are experiencing, without the fear or judgment of their adult influences, allows them to share what they are experiencing, giving more insight so that treatment, if required, can be navigated effectively. Consider using strategies with your child, such as games to identify emotions, reading books, or other activities that encourage connection with your child. The key is to meet your child at the level they are at, so it might mean an afternoon of playing with Play-Doh or playing your child’s favourite video game.

In Conclusion

Children with ADHD have specific challenges in school, especially when undiagnosed or unsupported, due to the underfunding in the educational system, adding additional stressors to teachers. These behaviours are often mislabeled as misbehaviour rather than the neuroatypical condition of ADHD.

ADHD comes in three types: hyperactive-impulsive, inattentive, and combined. Each type affects kids differently, and symptoms can overlap with other mental health conditions, making diagnosis tricky. Early intervention and clear communication with teachers and schools are key. Support strategies like IEPs, accommodations, and consistent feedback are crucial.

Parents are the key to advocating for their child’s needs to get the right support in place. Teaching emotional awareness and self-advocacy helps children with ADHD navigate their challenges and become more resilient and confident. Emotional intelligence can help children express their needs and manage their emotions, which can improve their learning and overall well-being.

If you are having challenges with your child at school with behavioural and/or emotion regulation concerns, consider counselling through an emotion-focused lens to help identify what’s needed and support your child’s needs, whether diagnosed with ADHD or not.

Jennifer Lysay for Counselling & Co.