Managing Emotional Regulation with ADHD
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that typically begins to impact an individual in their childhood but can also be identified much later in life. Differences in the brain affect areas like attention, impulse control, and the regulation of activity levels. Because ADHD impacts how individuals process information, it can also lead to challenges with focus, organization, and emotional regulation, especially in environments that make accommodations and support harder to access.
While the impact of ADHD on attention and behaviour is often talked about, the lesser-known aspect of emotional regulation can be just as impactful and painful for those affected. In fact, for many people with ADHD, managing emotions can be equally as challenging as staying organized or paying attention because it affects mood, stress management, relationships and self-esteem.
This article will explore insights, strategies and tools for recognizing and coping with emotional dysregulation through a lens of self-compassion.
Understanding ADHD and Emotional Regulation
Effective emotional regulation helps people navigate daily life, manage stress, and maintain healthy relationships. Difficulties with emotional regulation, which are common with ADHD, can lead to impulsive reactions, mood swings, and difficulty recovering from emotional outbursts. The ongoing impact of struggling with emotional regulation is significant, and often, the focus of supportive therapy is to increase self-compassion and coping.
Emotional dysregulation in ADHD is believed to be closely tied to differences in brain structure and function, which means it has a neurobiological origin rather than being a personality-based phenomenon (which is a concept that is deeply harmful to an individual’s self-esteem). Here are some of the key areas in the brain that have been linked to ADHD.
Prefrontal Cortex Dysregulation: The prefrontal cortex, responsible for executive functions like planning, impulse control, and emotional regulation, tends to develop differently in individuals with ADHD. This area plays a key role in moderating emotional responses, so it can result in difficulties when it’s less active or inefficient.
Dopamine Imbalance: Dopamine, a neurotransmitter involved in reward, motivation, and emotional regulation, is often dysregulated in people with ADHD. Lower dopamine levels or altered dopamine pathways can also affect the brain’s ability to modulate emotions, leading to more intense emotional reactions and difficulty controlling emotional impulses.
Amygdala Hyperactivity: The amygdala, which processes emotions like fear, anger, and pleasure, may be overactive in people with ADHD. This heightened activity can amplify emotional responses to stimuli, making it harder for individuals to remain calm or regulate their emotions effectively.
Common Emotional Regulation Challenges in ADHD
Knowing that an ADHD brain functions differently can help individuals and those who support them to use compassionate understanding about why emotional dysregulation occurs more often in ADHD individuals. It is also valuable to know how ADHD-specific emotional dysregulation can be experienced, including:
Heightened emotional reactions: People with ADHD may experience emotions more intensely, making it difficult to manage responses to everyday challenges. This can feel like a “flooding” of emotions that can lead to frustration, anger, or excitement that feels overwhelming and hard to control.
Impulsivity in emotional responses: Just as ADHD can cause impulsive behaviour, it can also lead to impulsive emotional reactions. Individuals may find themselves reacting quickly and intensely to situations without being able to pause and reflect, which can result in misunderstandings and regret or shame afterwards.
Difficulty calming down: Once a strong emotion is triggered, people with ADHD may struggle to regulate or return to a baseline state. This difficulty with "cooling off" can prolong feelings of anger, sadness, or stress. Sometimes, individuals can experience what is known as a “shutdown,” during which they withdraw entirely or become emotionally numb/detached.
Emotional sensitivity: Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), commonly experienced in ADHD, involves an extreme emotional response to perceived rejection or criticism, making social interactions and feedback from others challenging.
Strain on relationships: Emotional dysregulation can create misunderstandings and conflict in relationships. Quick shifts in mood, impatience, or emotional outbursts can affect personal, professional, and family dynamics.
Impact on self-esteem: Struggles with managing emotions can lead to frustration and feelings of failure, especially when others misunderstand the emotional intensity as an overreaction. This can negatively impact self-worth.
Increased stress and anxiety: Difficulty controlling emotions often contributes to chronic stress and anxiety, especially when emotions feel overwhelming or when emotional outbursts lead to negative consequences. This can lead to emotional and mental exhaustion that is unseen by others.
Strategies for Managing Emotional Regulation with ADHD
Mindful Awareness of Emotions: Practice identifying and labeling emotions as they arise. This looks like pausing to name the emotion (e.g., “I notice I’m feeling frustrated”) to create space between the emotion and your response. This can help increase awareness of emotional triggers and avoid automatic reactions.
Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge negative or irrational thoughts that contribute to emotional overwhelm. For example, if the thought “I always mess things up,” comes ask yourself, “Is that really true? Have I succeeded in this before?” This can reduce the intensity of emotional reactions by reframing the way you perceive situations and your role in them.
Behavioural Activation: When feeling emotionally stuck or overwhelmed, engage in positive activities that help to shift your mood, such as taking a walk, listening to music, or other forms of self-care. This increases positive emotions and shifts attention away from negative thoughts, helping to break cycles of emotional dysregulation.
Breaking Tasks into Smaller Steps: Large tasks can feel overwhelming, leading to frustration and emotional shutdown. Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps and reward yourself after completing each one. This reduces stress and the emotional overload that can come from feeling overwhelmed, leading to better focus and emotional stability.
Impulse Control Techniques: Practice delaying your response when emotions run high. Techniques like counting to ten, deep breathing, or stepping away for a few minutes can give you time to cool down. This helps reduce impulsive emotional outbursts by creating a buffer between the emotional trigger and the response.
Self-compassion Practice: Try replacing negative, self-critical thoughts with positive affirmations. For example, replace “I’m always messing up” with “I’m doing my best, and I can try again.” This reduces emotional distress and builds resilience, helping you recover more quickly from setbacks.
Setting Boundaries: Learn to set boundaries with people or situations that trigger emotional dysregulation. This could mean saying "no" to certain commitments or removing yourself from overwhelming environments. This protects emotional well-being by minimizing exposure to situations that lead to emotional overwhelm.
Check-ins with Self: Schedule regular check-ins with yourself to assess how you’re feeling throughout the day. Ask yourself if you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or emotionally off-balance, and take breaks as needed. This proactively prevents emotional buildup by catching dysregulation early, making it easier to manage emotions before they become overwhelming.
The Role of ADHD Therapy in Emotional Regulation
ADHD-supportive therapy can help individuals better manage their symptoms of emotional dysregulation. Here are some ways that ADHD-affirming therapy can be supportive and helpful:
Developing Self-Awareness: This helps individuals become more aware of their emotional patterns and triggers. By recognizing when and why certain emotions arise, they can respond more mindfully rather than impulsively.
Teaching Coping Strategies: ADHD-supportive therapy provides coping strategies, such as relaxation techniques, mindfulness, and grounding exercises that help manage overwhelming emotions and calm the body.
Cognitive Reframing: By reframing negative thoughts with a therapist’s help (e.g. “I’m a failure” can become “I’m trying my best”), individuals can reduce the emotional intensity of difficult situations and avoid spiralling into emotional dysregulation.
Setting Realistic Expectations and Goals: ADHD therapy helps individuals set realistic expectations for themselves, which can reduce the frustration and emotional burnout caused by feeling overwhelmed by tasks or social pressures and even help to move away from perfectionism.
Addressing Rejection Sensitivity: Many people with ADHD experience Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria, which leads to extreme emotional responses to perceived criticism or rejection. Therapy helps individuals understand this reaction and develop strategies to cope with it.
Strengthening Executive Functioning: ADHD therapy often targets improvements in executive functioning skills like planning, organizing, and time management. Practising these skills can reduce overwhelm, a key trigger for emotional dysregulation.
Enhancing Communication Skills: Therapy can also improve communication skills and self-advocacy, by guiding individuals on how to express emotions constructively, assert needs, and manage conflicts without becoming emotionally reactive.
Providing Emotional Validation: In a supportive therapeutic relationship, individuals with ADHD receive validation for their emotions, which are often dismissed or misunderstood by others. This validation helps reduce feelings of guilt or shame surrounding emotional dysregulation.
Conclusion
ADHD-supportive therapy helps individuals manage emotional regulation by increasing self-awareness of emotional triggers and teaching practical coping strategies. Therapy can help to build emotional resilience and communication skills, and reduce overwhelm and rejection sensitivity, which are common in ADHD.
By strengthening executive functioning and providing emotional validation, individuals can also better regulate emotions, which leads to improved relationships and overall emotional stability.
If you or your loved one is struggling with emotional regulation related to ADHD, you can find help that is affirming. Reach out with any questions about your ADHD Therapy and take the steps you deserve to feel more supported. To book a therapy session or explore our community of neurodivergent-affirming therapists, please contact us today. Together, we can help uncover an empowering perspective of your neurotype and the many gifts it can bring to your experiences of the world.