The Association Between Relationship Issues and Mental Health

Some of the most beautiful and painful events we will live through come as the result of a relationship. Highs and lows, excitements and anxieties, tears of joy and tears of pain – these are all products of love. A relationship issue can stem from a conflict that arises within a relationship. This could include poor communication, lack of trust, infidelity, or issues with intimacy. While relationship issues are natural and common, persistent concerns can result in mental health impacts such as emotional strain, anxiety, or depression. Maintaining healthy relationships with the people most important to you can be a vital way to enhance an individual’s well-being. By doing so, you can continuously grow those relationships through nourishing qualities such as rapport and appreciation for one another. As no two relationships are the same, it is crucial to be aware of the uniqueness of yours while ensuring that you are receiving the appropriate support when needed.

The Connection Between Relationship Issues and Mental Health

Unresolved relationship issues can have a long-lasting and profound effect on an individual’s mental health. This can manifest into chronic anxiety, feelings of isolation, or helplessness. In accordance with a study conducted by the Mental Health Foundation (2021), unresolved relationship strain could aggravate feelings of loneliness and isolation, which contributes to a decline in overall mental health and well-being. 

Navigating through mental health concerns while being in a relationship can come with challenges. Some common signs that relationship strain has impacted an individual’s mental health could include feelings of low self-worth, mood swings, or sleep disturbances. These depressive symptoms can make it extremely difficult to do things that you once enjoyed and so it becomes important to be mindful of potential changes in behaviour that could correlate to your mental health. 

Recognizing and Addressing Conflict in Relationships

Regardless of the individual, every couple will experience some sort of conflict in their relationship, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. Anytime that individuals are brought together, in any type of partnership, friction is bound to happen. This could include a difference in expectations, financial stress, or miscommunication. 

As we don’t get to see other couples “behind the scenes”, it is difficult to know whether they argue or about what. So, this part becomes mysterious which could create doubt in the relationship if you are imagining other couples not having conflict or bickering about things that you and your partner might be having a disagreement on. Thus, it might be helpful to identify some common factors that could cause relationship strain. Gary Lewandowski (2021) suggested five possible behaviours that could result in an upset romantic partner. Your partner is: (1) Possessive, Jealous, and/or Dependent, (2) Moody, (3) Neglecting, Rejecting, and/or Unreliable, (4) Unfaithful, and (5) Inconsiderate. While evaluating these possible behaviours that could cause relationship issues, I invite you to consider that these topics are quite common, and they do not necessarily shape who you are as a couple. 

Most people encounter some type of emotional trigger, which may vary from person to person. This might include reminders of uncomfortable topics, another individual’s actions, or reminders of unwanted behaviours. Common situations that could trigger an emotion could include betrayal, challenged beliefs, rejection, helplessness, criticism, feeling unwanted, or loss of independence. 

While these emotions might become so intense that you feel like there is no way out, it is important to be aware of some practical tips that could help ease that emotional pain. Jennifer Litner (2020) encourages us to begin listening to our mind and body. Meaning to pay attention to certain situations that might prompt this strong emotional response. Or you could take a step back. Stop and notice what just happened while evaluating the response that it activated. You could also approach the conflict pattern with curiosity to get more insight into what might have triggered the emotion. Do any patterns stand out to you while doing so? Regardless of what you decide is best for you, it is important to remind yourself that it is OK to feel whatever you feel at that moment. Whether it’s anger, frustration, or sadness, triggers can evoke many emotions, and that is ordinary. 

Techniques for Managing Relationship Stress

When you have identified a strain in your relationship, it is vital to minimize misunderstandings so both you and your partner can feel heard. For example, using “I” statements when expressing yourself is a great way to reduce blame on the individual while also being able to convey your struggles to them. An article by Oklahoma State University (2024) outlined how opening up to your partner can be an effective way of self-expression. Talk out your thoughts and feelings about the situation that caused you stress while explaining how and why it affected you personally. Listening with interest while your partner is opening up gives importance to what they are saying while showing them that they are being heard at the moment. Providing support through reassurance, empathy, and encouragement could also exemplify that what your partner has to say holds value. 

Implementing techniques to manage relationship stress is crucial to bringing a couple closer together. Alongside this, I invite you to be mindful of healthy boundaries and self-care practices that could improve personal resilience. With the support of HelpGuide (2024), healthy boundaries serve us by reducing codependence and encouraging autonomy, setting expectations with others, providing you with a sense of empowerment, clarifying an individual’s responsibility within a relationship and/or separating your needs, thoughts, feelings, and wants. A lack of healthy boundaries could result in a toxic environment and dissatisfaction within the relationship. 

Janette Kirk-Willis (2020) outlined how managing relationship boundaries is vital to personal resilience. When deciding on how do set a health boundary, you might want to consider, what is important to you? What is non-negotiable? Do your best to communicate respectfully, clearly, and firmly. When boundaries are set and conveyed in a clear matter, try your best to take action that supports the boundary. Stay strong, while reminding yourself that you have every right to engage in self-care that best suits you. 

How Relationship Therapy Can Help

Although there are many ways in which a couple can navigate through their relationship strain on their own, this might not always be the case. When it comes to complex issues, it is vital to consider seeking support from a mental health professional who could provide a different outlook on the situation and guide you on how to conquer this barrier that has been set forth. One type of therapy that could help enhance the connection that might have been lost within a relationship is Couples Counselling. This might sound intimidating at first, but I can assure you that many couples have chosen this path with positive results. Specifically, a survey conducted by Relationships & Therapy (2023) found that 37% of couples have sought out couples therapy, with a staggering 99% currently in therapy expressing that it has a positive impact on their relationship. 

You might be asking yourself, “When is couples therapy appropriate?” and that is a great question. Although conflicts in a relationship are common, if you find yourself in a constant cycle where an argument comes up time and time again without being resolved, that is when a professional should be considered. The first step is always the hardest, however, the result can be quite rewarding in many situations. 

Building Personal Growth and Emotional Wellness

There are many ways in which emotional wellness and self-awareness can be enhanced. This could include meditation, mindfulness, journaling, and engaging in hobbies that reinforce stability and mental health. The National Institutes of Health (2022) suggested an Emotional Wellness Toolkit that could help manage life stresses while increasing self-awareness. These strategies include reducing stress, building resilience through healthy coping strategies, getting quality sleep, and strengthening social connections. 

Respect and honesty can play a part in maintaining personal growth independently and as a couple. Uplifting each other while straying away from belittling or degrading can enhance emotional wellness and increase connection within the relationship.

Creating a Supportive Environment for Mental Health

It is also important to find ways of supporting each other’s mental health within the relationship. Understanding each other’s needs and creating a safe space for open communication are ways that could support and show your partner that you are there for them in any way that you can be. Alongside this, I strongly encourage you to check in with yourself and your partner on a regular basis to ensure ongoing support and increasing connection with one another. 

Finding Help and Building Stronger Relationships

When living in a stressful society as we do, it is important to seek help when needed whether it be individual or couples counselling. I invite you to consider professional support as an effective way of managing relationship issues impacting mental health and well-being. 

Conclusion

Addressing relationship strain proactively provides great value for long-term mental health. If you or someone you know can connect to this blog in any way, please contact us for a free consultation. Understanding this whole process can be confusing and lonely. Together, we can explore and create a safe space for you to navigate through these hardships.