Voices From Our Village: Gaby Ball

Over the past nine years, I have had the privilege of immersing myself in the world of supporting and working with neurodiverse individuals and their families. My journey began as a volunteer and transformed over the years into a passion and a love for working as a neuroaffirming psychotherapist. My son is hard of hearing and, when he was 3 years old, he began attending therapy at a centre for treatment and child development. Around that time, I began to volunteer at this organization as a way of giving back. I chose the Autism Services Program and immediately developed a fervent curiosity and passionate commitment to understanding the unique needs and perspectives found within the neurodiversity spectrum. I was eager to learn and help. After learning that behavioural techniques are the gold standard for helping improve social interactions (including communication and learning skills through positive reinforcement and connection), I completed a post-graduate certificate in Autism and Behavioural Sciences. Armed with my new training, I felt equipped and excited to improve the lives of autistic children and their families.

During my career, I’ve had the opportunity to learn and collaborate in both private and government-funded centres and to work for the school system supporting children with different exceptionalities, including Autism and ADHD. I learned to follow an Individual Educational Plan (IEP) while working 1:1 using evidence-based practices and proven strategies. I was making my students follow instructions and expectations based on their IEP, but… something was missing. My young people were following instructions and even achieving goals but so often this occurred on the heels of a tantrum and a lot of tears. I could see the stress on their faces and in their bodies. I couldn’t help but feel like the behavioural approach lacked empathy, compassion and attunement. I wondered, are these kids learning behaviours using their full cognitive capacity or are they just complying? It soon became clear to me; I was not responding to my students' emotional needs. Not only that but I was attempting to teach them behaviours and expectations while they were in highly stressed and anxious states. These children’s minds and bodies were going in different directions, and they were struggling. 

I learned, while completing my bachelor’s degree in psychology years ago, that humans cannot learn under stress, as being in a stressful state can impair one’s ability to retrieve memories and retain information. During my studies, I also grew to understand that not being attuned to a child's needs and emotions can negatively impact their mental health. But here I was, trying to teach behaviours and make my students comply with specific instructions while their cognitive capacity was switched "off," and their sympathetic nervous system (flight or fight response) was activated and switched on. This made me wonder, with a heavy heart, if the way I had been teaching neurodiverse children could have a negative impact on their future mental health. I couldn’t help but question, how can we teach someone a behaviour if they do not know how to attune to, name and regulate their emotions first. 

Thus, I decided to continue my learning journey and I applied to do my Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology degree. During my graduate studies and practicum, things really started to shift for me. I began to reframe how I had been approaching autism services and I confirmed that sometimes we must unlearn what we know in order to grow. I truly believe that for learning to be meaningful for autistic people, we need to consider the connection between the mind and body. We need to first teach autistic children how to understand their emotions. As we know, neurodiverse brains work differently than neurotypical brains. Sure, behavioural techniques are great at addressing the mind components, but what is missing is the hearts of these individuals. They too have the same needs as neurotypical people; they too long for love and connection. 

This is why I now see the great value in incorporating both attachment and polyvagal theories. In sessions, I integrate both into my work with all of my clients, including autistic individuals. I notice that my clients and I are making deeper connections and even more behavioural progress. Techniques rooted in these two theories can help kids feel an emotional and physiological sense of grounding which helps them develop necessary skills and manage behaviours (using classic behavioural techniques) with more ease. These techniques can also be used by parents to connect with their kids. Using co-regulation and a mind-body approach (connecting bodily states with emotional and cognitive elements) can help foster relational growth and a secure attachment. Ultimately, this sense of attachment and connection assists parents and kids to feel more confident while navigating and exploring the neurodiverse world, together. 

Since neurodiverse children have the same attachment needs as other kids, I use games and techniques in session to help parents connect and co-regulate with their children. Doing this can help kids feel safe and ready to explore their environment. A child with a secure attachment is more socially skilled and empathetic, initiates more social interaction with others, and responds better to others' emotional needs. I believe these theoretical approaches complement and address an important aspect of the human experience which behavioural techniques do not. Hopefully, these approaches will someday become the gold standard for neurodiverse people. I think attachment and polyvagal theories could be the missing links and integrating them with behavioural practices could reduce the risk of mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. I hope future research focuses on the use of these theories and that families with neurodiverse members and professionals working with neurodiverse clients continue to see the benefits of working with both the body and the mind.

If you would like to learn more about my approach to neuroaffirming care or to explore the possibility of working together, please reach out and set up a free 15-minute Meet & Greet with me. I would love to connect with you and see how I can support you, your child or your family in counselling. 

I provide in-office and in-home therapy, as well as virtual sessions. To learn more about whether in-home sessions are right for your family, please check out our latest blog, In-Home Therapy: Is This the Right Option For My Child.